Most families in rural Pennsylvania have a dog. Or two. There are many, many families all over the world who have dogs, even in the city. Dogs who are an integral part of their family, who are loved and faithful companions. They need walked and loved and vet checked and fed.
My dog, mainly, likes to be fed.
We came across this particular animal when we had just moved to our new home, all freshly built and full of wide acres and woods. A friend of a friend had heard of a family who had recently decided to give away their Labrador retriever. She was 3 years old and fully grown, perfect health and very gentle.
One December day, my husband rings into the phone on his cell, and says "bring the boys to the window, I have a surprise for them". He drives up the driveway with the window down, her gold head hanging out, snowing like crazy and the kids went NUTS.
She is hands down, the most gentle dog known to us. The day after her arrival, the older boys went to school and our third son, at age 4, asked if he could go outside and play in the snow with his new dog. I, having just had a baby weeks before, said "OK, but I'll watch from the window"..out they go, red and blue snowsuit and yellow lab. I watched for a time while he threw snowballs and she tired to chase them or catch them. Then he (or perhaps the dog herself) got the bright idea to start digging a tunnel from all the snow that was pushed to the side of the drive from my husband's snow plow. I watched as one little boy and one large dog dug side by side in the deep, deep snow for over an hour to create the 'coolest tunnel ever' and two big brothers come home ready to play in it. On that day, the four yr old child made his very first friend, and she didn't care that he couldn't talk very well. She pulled him on his sled and jumped in the pond after him, swimming and laughing. She chases him on his bike and on his four wheeler. She walks every single day to the bus stop and sometimes even follows the bus for a short distance. She waits every single day at the end of our rock wall, every single day. Sometimes it's only for a pat on the head from the older boys, but the now 7 yr old always, always has a stick he's grabbed from the woods to throw to her. Every single day.
This sounds idyllic, right? Well, I'm now going to give you all the 'reality bites' section of this dog story. You know there are animals who are just big oafs, right? All hair and stink and slobber and barking at night when it's NOT APPROPRIATE. Well, our wonderful, amazing dog is also that big dummy as well.
(as a side note, I wonder if my dog is bipolar? maybe she needs medicated..)
Anyway....my dog has gained an enormous amount of weight since coming to live here at our house. This is because everyone feeds her. As in, every single person in our house fills her food dish at least once a day. Do you sense a communication problem here? My husband feeds her when he leaves for the day at 5am. Next, Mr. "I take a dump every single day at 6am" feeds her. Then when they kids leave the house at 7:45am, the other twin feels badly for her, so he thinks a bowl of food may help her survive the day without them. By noon the 3 yr old has fed her at least part of her breakfast and possibly all of it. After school, the 7 yr old feeds her 'just because I love her so much MOM!'...by 6pm when it's dinner time, she gets all the leftovers. That's like 8000 calories a day! My dog needs to do P90X!
Last summer, I went on a crusade to 'save the dog' by jogging with her or at least walking her daily. She lost a little weight and was so much healthier, happier. This summer, again, all over again, because she's even bigger than last year. Poor animal. And believe me, taking this animal on a walk/jog isn't fun because I usually end up DRAGGING her 110 lb body half the distance! She will actually stop and lay down. Picture a mother on a country road, dog tied to jogging stroller, two kids on bikes and one small blond boy pushing at a dog's BUTT to get her up and moving!
We are a movie, just waiting to happen.
My dog has a keen sense of who is small enough to have food at eye level. She has some kind of radar with the midgets. One particular child, she has stolen every single solitary piece of food from for two years straight. He hates her. When these particular friends show up, the dog gravitates toward this single child (they have 5 children in total), fully knowing he will have some kind of food at some point in his visit. And she always, always gets it without biting him or hurting him. She just reaches up and gently takes it out of his hands. We should perhaps praise her dexterity for not hurting this child, but as his cries and screams of "Maggie stole my hot dog! Maggie stole my pizza!" are much louder, she usually gets yelled at.
My dog will lay in front of whatever door we are using and will not move her body. In the winter, we use the garage door~she lays in front of it on one of those coco mats. We all have to literally STEP OVER her body or in the children's case, LEAP OVER her body to get out the door. In the summer, we use the sliding glass doors on the deck. She again, lays on a decorative, outdoor mat I have out there. We open the door, and jump. She never moves. In my head, I'm silently screaming "MOVE YOUR ASS DOG!".
My dog is also, I'm sure, a lesbian. Which is fine, because I don't have a sexual bigot issue. (also, I am not one of those people that says "I know lots of homosexuals" and really doesn't..I hate that about people! Jesus!) Anyway, she is, at the very least, sexually confused. She came to us already spayed, without pregnancy or puppies. She is a humper. She gets on other dogs, she gets on benches, and occasionally, a child who has fallen off a snowmobile. We have been outside sledding and my husband will yell "KID DOWN!" and we run to save whatever child is being molested by our beloved hound. Confounded animal!
Our dog is a night barker. Last night, for example, at 2am, I was awoken by barking. And she really barks, if anyone is familiar with a lab's bark, it's not a little yip. She barks. I jump out of bed to run to the window, look down into our front yard, where the movement light has come one and see one yellow lab barking at one skunk. I immediately run to the children's rooms to shut their windows, as I know what the outcome of this battle will be. I am too late! The skunk has done it's duty and my dog has run down the yard, rolling and rolling.
I now own 'skunk dog'. We attempted a bath, with gloves. We were unsuccessful. She will simply have to wear it out.
Our dog drives us nuts. She does. It can be 90 degrees outside and she will come and sit right next to us on our feet. I can lay on the deck on a towel after playing in the pool with the kids and again, I will detect a faint smell, look over and she'll be within inches of me, laying down. She will take a ball we throw to her, and run. She never, ever has brought one back. Ever. We just accept that we'll have to buy cheap tennis balls. The kids all are hoping that one day they will come upon a hidden pile of them. She eats Barbies. But not the heads. She eats the bodies. She runs away with our flip flops, and frankly, any one's flip flops. She especially likes the ones that say 'Adidas' or 'Nike' or 'Under Armour'. The $2.50 ones from Old Navy just don't cut it.
I have tried, after bathing her, to brush her teeth. She takes the brush and eats it. She does enjoy some Crest.
She is all tongue and brown eyes. She looks like she's smiling.
She is gentle beyond belief. One afternoon this spring, the 3 yr old asks "Mom, can I go jump on trampoline?" as I am finishing the dishes. I told her yes and I would be right out in a few minutes to watch her, as our trampoline and play area is about 25 yards from the deck. I watch her walk out, Maggie the Dog waddling right behind her. She climbs up the step onto the trampoline, inside the enclosure and begins jumping away. The dog sits down, eyes keen on this child and I think, 'she's not so bad after all'.
Marley may be Maggie the Dog's cousin..
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