Today is the day!! I'm starting to blog. I need a creative outlet for myself and this is apparently going to be it.
My friends will be thrilled, as all of them want me to write a book. Which I would love to do if I didn't have four children who are in a rotation of illness.
I dedicate this blog to:
MYSELF because I have earned this time to "use my words".
MY CHILDREN because without them I would have nothing to blog about.
MY HUSBAND because along with being a saint he is also an idiot.
MY FRIENDS because they make me sane and accept the insaneness.
So, here we go. Wish me luck.
I could start with a history lesson. It would be helpful in understanding why I do the things I do. But, I am not sure I have time and/or patience for a history lesson. It's complicated, as I am. For those of you who know me, and I doubt many others who do not will ever read this post, you know what and who you are dealing with! I think I will opt out of the history lesson. We'll just muddle through together!
Today started with the coughing. COUGHING. Lots and lots of coughing. I hate coughing. I'm not speaking of my own personal coughing, I'm speaking of one of my nine year old twin's constant and pained coughing. He has had an asthma flare up. I am making a mountain out of a molehill here, I think, because many millions of children and people are afflicted with asthma and have problematic coughing episodes. But those people are not my child. And he suffers and suffers and coughs and I'm just wiped out!
Some people speak of hearing "something go boo" in the night...that instills fear in them. Nothing instills fear more in me than hearing a child cough in the night. It is the single worst sound I know. Makes me break out in a cold sweat.
At any rate, I am on no sleep for multiple nights now. I will survive! Get up other twin and six year old, feed, brush, out the door they go to school. Two year old daughter now up. Have to be at hospital for chest film in approx. 20 minutes. No time for shower!! Asthma twin dressed!! Two year old dressed!! I am dressed!! Out the door we go.
Chest film. McDonald's. Grocery store. Home. Lunch. Two year old up for nap. Folded two loads of laundry. Emptied dishwasher, reloaded. Asthma twin resting while watching movie. Here I sit, blogging. New for me. Could prove interesting.
Groceries are still in car, didn't want two yr old to see certain things and want to open and make mess with fruit roll ups I buy for lunch boxes. Better go attend to that. Actually forgot until just this minute.
OK. Back. Obviously, this blogging will take me awhile.
Talked quickly to two bff's on phone while folding laundry and taking care of dishes. Our husbands think we spend WAYYYYY too much time on phone, but don't realize that we are actually multitasking. I never just SIT down on couch to talk on phone.
Should be working out on elliptical. "Operation Major Weight Loss" has momentarily halted, due to sheer exhaustion and new love of blogging. I'm not fat. At all. I just have all these amazing clothes that are exactly one size too small to wear. I will not buy new clothes when I have beautiful clothes already.
I feel as though this blog will be more of a diary and vent post for me than anything interesting to anyone else, except perhaps my friends who are in hopes of my life turning into a made for tv movie, something everyone everywhere can laugh at.
Interesting fact: all marriages go through the "two week funk"....my bff1 and I were just discussing this. My marriage, in fact, just went through it! And I have a great marriage. Truly great. He is very kind and a wonderful father. Very handsome even though totally bald (although some women find that awesome)...great job, hard worker. Provider. Key word here, people! Provider. I can define that myself.
"Provider: a man who works 40-50 hours a week, graciously lets his wife stay home all day and do not very much other than an occasional load o' laundry, and sometimes cooks."
Or:
"Provider: a man who busts his breaking back every day, comes home to a hot meal on the table with four well behaved children and a supermodel wife."
Or:
"Provider: a man who has a job. His wife gets unexpectedly preggers five minutes after wedding. She stays home to raise family, which keeps growing, as does her work. He goes out the door every day, comes home with a smile, eats, lays on the couch and kids jump on his head while wife looks at mess from dinner, which no one actually ate or said 'thank you' for. He heads to garage to tinker on snowmobile, while wife struggles with nine yr old twins homework, six yr old's tired outburst, and two yr old's poop. He comes back in as everyone is finishing bath, getting on pj's. Reads two yr old a book. Gives kisses. Walks downstairs, out the door and back to garage to snowmobile, truck, woodpile, or something else of utmost importance. Wife walks up and down stairs approx 14 times trying to get everyone in bed, with drink, cough, medicine, wardrobe for school, bathroom, don't forget to brush teeth....etc. Wife comes downstairs, finishes kitchen, starts laundry, packs lunches for tomorrow, checks schedule. Folds laundry, picks up family room. Sits down with glass of wine to watch Friday Night Lights on NBC. Provider comes in, says it's time for bed, goes upstairs and waits for wife to come up for sex." PROVIDER.
I love my husband. I do. But the past two weeks have just plain sucked. He is so stubborn. Why, oh why do I get no credit for anything? It's fine. It really is. I decided a long time ago to just be happy, to just make myself happy. I have a great life. I love my kids. I love my husband. My dog is ok. My mother lives with us but that is a WHOLE different part of my story.
So, two weeks of funky, no communication. We have nitpicked one another every day for 14 days, for no reason other than we just felt like it.
Two nights ago: asthma twin is upstairs coughing. I'm worried. Husband says "if you had taken him to the doctor last week none of this would be happening." Are you kidding me? He is always complaining that I spend TOO MUCH TIME in the doctors office. So, that set me right off. Ten minutes later, I open his cell phone to find a picture of a nude woman, from the waist up. I'm sorry, again, are you kidding me???? So, I completely blow my cool. Not only have you been rude and snippy at me for two weeks, you make me feel guilty about asthma twin, and now you have porn on your phone. Not acceptable. So, I yell and cry and flip out. Picture was a joke message from one of his less desirable friends. Why is it still on your phone? Because he didn't erase it yet. Why? No answer. I do not have time for this! I have asthma twin hacking and not breathing, and a two yr old crying for some "rocky" in her rocking chair.
Two days followed of extremely tense relations. One bouquet of flowers went flying out the back door, still in the tissue paper wrapping.
Last night, asthma twin has sinkable episode in shower. I'm alone as provider has very important baseball mtg to attend. I call him. He's home in 4 minutes to help and rescue.
Two week funk over.
But he is so not getting laid in the near future.
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