Calm in the Storm

I think that sometimes when people are married for a time, that it becomes 'mundane' or 'boring'.
I think this is why it is a proven trend that many couples divorce at the ten year mark.
It's not fun anymore.
It's not sexy anymore.

That's not an excuse. Because it's true.
At the ten year mark, more than likely, a child or possibly two has entered into the scenario. Nothing is ever the same.
Ever.

It will never cease to amaze me how a crying baby or a coughing toddler will stop me dead in my tracks. The coughing, especially, will make me break out in a cold sweat.

But back to marriage. Adding a baby brings a whole new dimension.
The level of exhaustion associated with child rearing is astronomical. HUGE.
I like to sleep.

I used to say I had three favorite things.
The third was FOOD, the second was SLEEP, and the first was SEX.
My, how times have changed!
Just ask my husband. Or any husband for that matter.

I just found this quote.."Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired."
That can be perceived in two ways.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that it will always be 'extraordinary', because as I have said before, sometimes it is barely passable.
Don't 'tire' of yourself. Don't 'tire' of your love for that person.

I can remember getting butterflies in my stomach when I heard my husband's vehicle coming in the drive. I can remember snowy afternoons never leaving our bedroom. I can remember trying to cook his favorite meals and watching his face. Or laughing for hours over nothing. And hiking. And talking. And sleeping on the floor in front of our fireplace.

On the fateful fall day that I peed on the stick and drank a gallon of water only to pee on another stick...I changed.
I was a mother that very minute.

Being a mother changes your love. It doesn't diminish your feelings for your husband. But it does indeed change.
The very instant I felt the baby (BABIES) move inside me, I knew that I loved them wholly and completely without abandon. No fear. No reserve.

After they were born, and we followed suit with the other two installments..I knew that my husband and I had moved into this very easy, day to day..place.

I didn't like it.
I felt bored. Isolated. Unloved. Unspecial.
Blah, blah, blahblahblah.
This lasted for months.
Four kids. FOUR KIDS! I didn't have time for 'food, sleep, sex'..are you kidding me?!
I haven't taken a shower ALONE since they were born. I haven't slept in twelve years.

But as we plodded through this strange time frame in our marriage, I started to see him.

See him differently.
He is my partner, yes. He is my friend, yes.
He is my shade and my hand to hold and my hold to sanity. He bridges my gaps.

I believe I love him more today than I did before.
The ride isn't nearly as exciting, there are very few unexpected turns with him. He isn't full of surprises.
The kids, however, are FULL of surprises.
What makes me the happiest is that he is now standing with me enjoying all that our life has to offer..and I realize that our journey may not be a roller coaster full of passion and excitement.
But we have joy, and the trust that comes between two people who share the common joy of life multiplies into the best parts of a relationship.

If I had to rate it today.
Sleep. Sex. Family.

It's extraordinary.