chances

What are the chances?





Of.


Happiness. Grief. Love. Fear.





Forgive me, for I have indulged in a favorite tonight, music and wine. Bad combo for my morning but good for the creative process. I draw from a place that no one can feel, that George hasn't even seen.


He has seen almost all of ME and still wants more. He is the best chance I ever took.


This I write for a dear friend who may be embarking on a new journey into love. She has faced so many fears in her life.





I was her babysitter. I started as an 'employee' to her mother, and ended up loving her and her brother. They became a part of my life, and she was this sweet, good natured little joy who I found in my back pocket for the better part of six years. She was emulating me. I knew she was. I watched her every day. I was flattered that this creature would even want to be like me.


My flaws were numerous.


To me.





She would ask me questions. Hundreds of questions. She wanted her hair cut like mine. I would scold her little brother (he was this adorable critter, naughty by nature, but adorable none the less) and she would soon follow suit. In the same tone of voice and with the same look on her face.


I grew up. Went to college.


One night, I came home from a date and found this young girl at my doorstep..in tears, upset over circumstances that were beyond her control. Upset at choices that had nothing to do with her, but in a grown up world, choices become chapters in children's stories.


That night, I sat with her and took her upstairs to my room. We talked and fell asleep and in the morning, I hugged her..told her I loved her and she would be fine.


That experience was so humbling to me.


I will never forget that at my young age, possibly 19 or 20 years ago..I made an impact on a girl's life. She came to ME when she felt like she had no other choice.


It was a chance that I was her babysitter.


It was a choice that she became a sister.





This young woman today is like what I had EXPECTED my mirror to be. She is beautiful, she is kind. She travels and expands herself.


She is educated, she is independent and amazing and most of all, she is kind.


She gives.





I do not feel 'shorted' in my life. I took a chance with my husband. He was the best chance I ever took. Safe bet.


I have these amazing, crazy, whacked out kids. They laugh, they fight, they are loud and messy. I gave up all my education and dreams for them.


They became my dream. Evolution.





This young woman channeled everything she had into becoming what she already was..an amazing human being.


And she now has a chance at love herself.


With someone who may be a safe bet.





Someone who may not have been torn out of a Brooks Brothers ad. Someone who knows how to build a motor or who has hands that are dirty with work.


Someone who is the shadow of my husband. Who has worked beside him and learned from the man I love.





The two are cut from the same cloth. They can work from dawn till dusk. They have hands that are calloused with work.


Those hands can build a home.


Those hands can build a dream.





Take a chance.

Close your eyes. Remember the pain. Remember the joy.

'you gotta cry before you sing'

'chances are hopes torn out pages'

Fall.